What cartoonist hasn’t thought about who should play their characters on the big screen?  Movies, or films, or “moving filmed pictures,” have long held a fascination with me.  Sigmund Freud said that movies fulfill our subconscious desire to sleep with Thomas Edison.  Whether that is true or not, I remain an avid movie-watcher.

So who should play each character in the inevitable Welcome to Falling Rock National Park movie?  Here are my suggestions.

Ranger Dee – Zooey Deschanel

Everybody’s favorite park ranger is sometimes called* the heart of the comic.  Who better to play the emotional center of Falling Rock: The Movie than the girl who stole M. Ward’s heart?

Carver – Jason Schwartzman

Carver the cranky owl needs a wry voice tinged with world-weariness.  Rushmore introduced us to a young Jason Schwartzman as a world-weary high school student.  Fantastic Mr. Fox proved he has the chops for voice work, and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World proved he can play a great antagonist.

Ernesto – Tony Hale

Who better to play the lovable clothes-wearing lizard than the actor who partly inspired him?  Tony Hale is better known to the world as Buster Bluth on the short-lived TV show Arrested Development.  I’m not actually sure why that show got canceled because everyone I know has seen it.  Timid, somewhat stunted, yet with the potential for catastrophe, Buster Bluth could easily pass as Ernesto’s human cousin.

Pam -who else? – Lauren Bacall

Pam, the chain-smoking retired schoolteacher, can’t be played by just any dame.  Pam needs to be played by a wiseacre, a mystery, a worldly woman.  I can’t think of anyone better than the living embodiment of noir: Ms. Bacall.

Melissa – Ani DiFranco

Melissa the mountain lion was a difficult character to cast.  At first I thought Nicole Kidman.  Then my thoughts turned to singers.  Norah Jones?  Cat Power?  I heard Ani DiFranco interviewed on the Sound Opinions podcast and realized her voice would be perfect for the mellow but fierce cat.

Featuring a theme song written and performed by Bob Dylan, Jack Johnson, and Jeff Tweedy (under the name Wilbury & Sons), Falling Rock: The Movie will surely rake in Tom-Cruise-in-the-early-90′s money.  Oh, and it will definitely be in 3D.

*only by me

Last weekend marked the 10th annual Portland Zine Symposium, and the first time I attended as an exhibitor.  I’m glad I made the plan, because I met some cool people and sold more than a few books.  A fun and productive weekend.

Although it remains on Portland State University’s downtown campus, this was the Symposium’s first year at the Peter Scott gym.  While this may sound detrimental – a gym?  For a bunch of nerds? – it was actually an ideal venue.  Large, not stuffy, and full of light, the gym treated us well.  On one wall was a mural of honored PSU varsity athletes.  Kim Manifesto, you lived up to your heavy surname (women’s basketball, 1993-1996).  And even though we never pulled out the bleachers or “shot” a few “hoops,” the ghosts of athletes past were the guiding spirits for the event.

My immediate neighbors were strangers to me at the beginning, but by Sunday afternoon we had a rapport that would rival Bob Dole and Bob Dole’s best friend, whoever that is.  On my left sat Julia and Brodie (and their mascot Franklin).  On my right was the legendary Jesse Reklaw (of Slow Wave, the weekly comic strip) holding down the Global Hobo table.

Other notable neighbors included Greg Means and Aron Nels Steinke, whose names I will continue to mention on this blog until you buy all their comics.  Greg gave me a great new picture book by a Longstreth that isn’t Alec.  Galen, who I met here in Portland while she completed her degree in children’s literature, has a beautiful new book called Yes, Let’s.  Keep checking her website for the possibility of internet sales, if for no other reason than to drive her traffic through the roof and land her a book deal for one of her as-yet-unpublished young adult novels.

More than a few people stopped by to tell me they had seen my comics…somewhere…but they couldn’t remember where.  Is Falling Rock achieving minor media saturation (at least in Portland)?

A highlight of the show was meeting John Porcellino, who has been self-publishing his zine, King Cat Comics, since 1989.  I first read King Cat when I came to Portland.  I picked up an issue and saw that it mentioned Denver Colorado (I had just moved from Boulder) and The Beatles.  I felt like I’d met a kindred spirit.  It was great to finally meet the guy in person.

Thanks to all the people who stopped by my table, even to say hello, and of course to the volunteers and organizers of the event.  PZS is now on my yearly convention schedule, fo sho.

Same background (jigsaw puzzle clouds from my plane ride home).  The second set of robots is based on another cartoonist’s drawing of clouds that I really admired, so I stole it.

Just because you won’t have Cathy to kick around anymore doesn’t mean you have go without strong female characters in a comic strip.  You know what comic prominently features no less than THREE female characters?  Welcome to Falling Rock National Park!  Dee, the junior Park Ranger from Tucson, Arizona is sometimes described* as the “heart” of the strip.  She loves her job.

Not only is she adept and intelligent, she’s pretty good-looking.

Ranger Dee is, however, far from the only female in this desert park.  She is pictured above sitting next to Melissa the mountain lion.  Melissa, being a cat, is ferocious, but she also makes beautiful large-scale sculptures.

Of course I would be remiss if I neglected to mention Pam, the retired schoolteacher javelina.  Pam is the Perpetual Babe of the Month here at Falling Rock National Blog.  It’s easy to see why:

Newspaper editors: when it comes time to fill the Cathy void this October, think Ranger Dee!

Readers: wouldn’t you rather see Falling Rock in your local paper than some machine-made corporate Brand X comic strip?  Write your paper and tell them that Falling Rock National Park is what you want.

*beginning now

Now that Falling Rock has returned, I’ve opened up the comments section once again.  Feel free to ask questions.  I love questions.  I don’t know how to answer them yet, but I love the way they sound.