My first million will go right up my nose.
My second million will go to charity.
My third million will go to the Committee to Elect Jimmy Carter in 2008.
My fourth million will be all spent in one place.
My fifth million will go to a bomb shelter, canned food, bottled water, comic books, flashlight batteries, and steely resolve.
My sixth million will be earmarked for research and development.
My seventh million will buy my ticket into space (and back).
My eighth million will be in small, unmarked bills.
My ninth million will buy fair trade coffee & chocolate from South America.
My tenth million will be waved in front of my brother’s face as my limo drives slowly by.
My eleventh million entice Paul and Ringo to put on a concert with Bill Watterson and J.D. Salinger under the name The Beatles Minus Two Plus Calvin & Holden.
My twelfth million will ensure peace of mind.
…and a partridge in a pear tree.