autobiography Blog

building a bigger boat

I thought I’d introduce you, my dear readers, to each other. Where do you come from? Well, according to this map, you come from all over the place.blogger_05
102 countries, to be exact. The regions underrepresented are Africa, Greenland, and the Middle East. I can’t understand why this blog does not appeal to them, as my comic strip takes place in a fictitious National Park in the American Southwest. I guess you can’t please everybody.

Thankfully I’ve got almost all of Central and South America locked up, West and East Europe, and New Zealand and Australia. Of the 18 billion people who live in China and India, I got 59 visitors in the past year. Score! Sweden, who I famously courted for a while, paid me respect 42 times. I’m happy to report I have 466 fans in the UK, better than the 314 who made the trek south from Canada.

I wonder what Iran (5 visitor) and Saudi Arabia (11 visitors) think of this blog?

I was surprised that Brazil (157) outdid Mexico (50) by a wide margin.

My most loyal international fans hail from Brazil, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. Thanks guys!

The top 5 countries for visits (excluding US):
1. United Kingdom
2. Canada
3. Germany
4. France
5. Brazil

What about my American fans?blogger_06
With a whopping 5,435 hits over the past year, America can’t get enough Falling Rock. Excluding friends, bitter rivals, family, and people who misspelled “”, that leaves about 34 hits. Just kidding! I’m sure there are many, many Americans who read Falling Rock on a weekly, monthly, or even centennial basis.

Every state in the Union sent at least one representative to Falling Rock over the past year, including the District of Columbia and one called “not set.” I actually got more visitors from “not set” than from North Dakota, South Dakota, West Virginia, or Delaware.

The states whose visitors linger longest include Indiana, Iowa, Wyoming, Nebraska, Maine, and Kansas.

A special shout-out to Ohio (135) where I went to college and where the prestigious Cartoon Library & Museum houses the complete original drawings of Calvin and Hobbes.

I am continually impressed with California (599), who shows me that while financially bankrupt, they will never be bankrupt in the heart.

Whaddup Pennsylvania (152) and Massachusetts (150)? I’ve hardly spent time in either of those states, but they are my long-distance buddies. Thank you.

As to the states who arrive at my site and flee in terror without spending even a second there (Alaska, West Virginia, North Dakota), I pledge to do you better in the coming year.

Top states for visits (AKA my favorite places):
1. Arizona
2. California
3. Indiana
4. New York
5. Colorado
6. Oregon
7. Texas
8. Illinois
9. Florida
10. Wisconsin


vital stats

The following statistics were compiled as part of the Worldwide Blogging Census. What follows is for International Blogging Commission use only.

Age: 29

Glasses: Yes

Braces: 5 years

Cavities: 0

Broken Bones: 2

Vegetarian: Yes, except for veal and sea turtle meat

Blogging nemesis: Unknown

Comics drawn to date: 1518

Beat Super Mario Bros. at age: 10

Beat Super Mario Bros. 2 at age: 19

Animals brought back from extinction: Moa, Velociraptor

Foreign language fluency: Kryptonian, Irish

Batman or Superman: Batman

Nerdiness quotient: 89

High school popularity rating: 13%

Total girlfriends: 8

Imaginary girlfriends: 8

Crushes: 42

Wives: 1

Number of people likely to attend funeral: 409

Number of celebrities at funeral: 12

Friends: 2,987

Facebook friends: 2,980

Half court basketball shots made: 0

Framed for murder: 1

Shot a man in Reno: 1

Tattoos: 0

Tattoos designed for others: 1

Lifetime average hourly salary: $5.15

Percent chances of dying from brain tumor due to cell phone use: 74%

Most likely cause of death: ennui

Awards or Honors: Voted “King Tuna” at the Gilbert, Arizona Tuna Fish Festival (1996), 3rd Place in National Stock Market Game (7th grade), Got Out of Physical Education For Half a Year (7th grade)