Posts Tagged ‘pam’


Babe of the Month

Falling Rock National Park Presents: Babe of the Month!
The Babe of the Month is Pam.
Pam is a javelina; she likes reading, writing, solitude, and the warmth of the desert sun.
Pam does not like being objectified, which is what makes her such a perfect candidate for Babe of the Month.

Pam will be Babe of the Month until further notice by the management.pam-of-the-month


FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

As an international cartoonist celebrity, I receive literally thousands of fan questions a day. I’m chin-deep in letters, emails, faxes, telegrams, boxes of homemade cookies and cashier’s checks. Well, not really checks.

My tireless staff compiled the most-asked questions that are asked of me. Now, without further ado, I will answer the third most-asked question:
Which of your characters could you beat in a fight?
First, I’d like to thank the 458,953 people who asked this question. You all have your priorities straight. Now on to the main event.
CARVER
Carver is an owl, therefore he is short. His bones are light and brittle, which makes them ideal for flight, not fight. He will, however, fight dirty. He also has a beak. Beaks are sharp, and I would rather run away than have him poke out my eyes. I give even chances on a match between me and Carver.

PAM (pictured below, resident Babe of the Month)
Pam is tough, and mean, and sure of herself. As a former teacher, she is used to discipline, but I doubt many of her former students ever challenged her to a duel. My chances are improved because she is quite a bit older and has lived a sedentary life. I’m going to have to give the fight to her, though, if for no other reason than this: looking directly into her hard, squinty eyes would break my spirit and my soft grip on sanity.
DEE
Dee is athletic since she works outdoors, she is also a bit younger than me. These qualities both give her the necessary advantage to taking me down. It may be a fair fight, but it is a fight I would ultimately lose.

MELISSA
Melissa is a mountain lion. Her paws are roughly the size of my face. She can sneak up on me while I’m asleep. She knows exactly where to strike her prey for maximum damage. She would undoubtedly beat me in a fight.

ERNESTO
Ah, Ernesto. Although we are both by nature pacifisits, if it came down to it we would fight. He is tall and skinny, but not necessarily muscular. I also have the advantage of being warm-blooded. He cannot stay in the sun or the shade for too long, lest his body get overheated or frozen. He would be tenacious, but I am going to have to give the advantage to myself on this one. I could take Ernesto. I wouldn’t want it, but sometimes you can’t choose who you will have to fight.
Keep those questions coming in, folks. And remember: as an internationally recognized cartoonist, everything I say is likely to be inaccurate at best, filthy lies at worst.
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FALLING ROCK IS BACK

That’s right, dear readers, Welcome to Falling Rock National Park has returned from its summer hiatus with brand new episodes. Carver, Dee, Ernesto, Melissa are back. Falling Rock’s perpetual Babe of the Month, Pam, is of course back as well.This is a sneak peek at one of the new episodes, starring Pam. We at Falling Rock know the world can’t get enough of a chain-smoking retired school-teacher javelina. What can I say? We aim to please.
falling rock is backClick the arrow above to get your daily Falling Rock fix. Don’t worry, dear readers, I will continue to post at this here blog as often as humanly possible. Will this be the record of one man’s descent into madness? You’ll be the first to know!


what is a javelina?

javelina2 Pam, our perpetual Babe of the Month here at Falling Rock National Park, is a javelina. The photos you see here are of real javelina at the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum.

But what is a javelina? Growing up in the desert as I did, I was surprised when people would stare at me blankly when I referenced a javelina. Heck, Blogger keeps telling me that I’m misspelling the word “javelina” as I type this post.

One of the biggest misconceptions about javelina is that they are pigs. Not so, says Texas A&M-Kingsville. Javelinas are also known as collared peccary, partly because of the ring of fur around their necks that resembles a collar.javelina3

For a good description of javelina, one cannot go wrong with this, taken from the above-mentioned desert museum:

Javelina meander in loose groups, feeding as they move through an area. They dig up roots and bulbs with their sharp hooves or with their snouts. They eat prickly pear cacti, spines and all, by tearing off bites with their large canines. Because they don’t have sharp cutting teeth, much fibrous material is left on the prickly pear. Javelina chew as they walk, so bits and pieces fall from their mouths, sometimes leaving a short trail.

Javelina live in groups of 2 to 20 animals, the average being about 8 to 12. Each group defends a territory of about 700 to 800 acres, the size and boundaries varying in different seasons and different years; the territories include bed grounds and feeding areas, but they may overlap at critical resources, especially watering holes. An older, experienced sow leads the herd, determining when to bed down, feed, or go to water. Javelina have no defined breeding season; the babies, usually twins, can be born in any month. Not many predators other than a mountain lion will attack an adult javelina, but the babies are also prey for coyotes, bobcats, and other animals.

Javelina have poor vision, relying instead on their sense of smell.javelina1

This link has a good list of differences between pigs and javelina. I even learned something new: javelina can be found in Argentina. Thanks, National Park Service.

My experience with javelina “in the wild,” so to speak, has been limited to early morning sightings along the sides of roads. They travel in packs and you’d better watch out if they decide to cross in front of you. I also saw a pair of javelina when I was out hiking around sunset. They didn’t wander near me, which is fine. They have a reputation for being rather stinky.

I hope this has cleared up a few questions about Pam. With better understanding, we can appreciate her even more.pam-babe-of-the-month

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Babe of the Month: June 2009

Summertime…when the sleeves get shorter and the pants get capri. The time of the year a young Paul Newman strolls into town with nothing but the sweaty shirt on this muscular back. Yes, we know what you’re after and we at Falling Rock National Blog aim to give it to you. It is time to announce Falling Rock’s Babe of the Month.

The Babe of the Month for June 2009 is: Pam the javelina.pam-babe-of-the-month-color

Pam, no longer the young idealistic teacher, still has much to offer the discerning gentleman. She is retired, which means she won’t have any excuses to leave the house (unless it is to get the groceries to make your dinner). She is down to two packs a day, much sexier than the four-packs-plus-a-pint-of-Jameson she was a few years back. She loves to read murder mysteries, so you know she’s got a dark side. Pam is the whole package.

Better yet fellas, Pam is currently unattached. Could you be her Mr. Oh, All Right? Get in line!


teacher of the year

The award “Teacher of the Year” gets tossed around a lot this time of year, and with good cause.  After all, the teachers of today are the evil masterminds of tomorrow.  We best be giving them plenty of cheap praise to inflate their delicate sense of self worth.  If we don’t bury them in awards, they may wise up to the fact that they haven’t been given a raise since 1974.

When I created Pam, the retired schoolteacher javelina, I knew immediately that she was a bitter chain smoker.  But I also knew she never lost her dream of writing a bestselling murder mystery series.  img_20081103 Teachers may seem tough on the outside, they may seem world weary and gruff, but on the inside they are probably the most optimistic people in the world.  After a lifetime of seeing the laziest children doze through their classes, they never gave up.  Why?  Because there was bound to be that special student that made a career worth it.

And that is why today, Falling Rock National Blog is proud to announce the 2010 Teacher of the Year Award goes to Mr. Jim McAllister of Carver High School.election_04

Mr. McAllister, played by Matthew Broderick in the film Election based upon the novel of the same name  written by Tom Perrotta, is a hardworking teacher who ultimately gets fired for ballot fraud.  (Trust me, if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, that won’t spoil the story for you.)

Mr. McAllister does what he feels is right, and for that he deserves Falling Rock’s Teacher of the Year Award.  Congratulations Jim, wherever you are.


hey 1400 newspapers who won’t run Cathy anymore

Just because you won’t have Cathy to kick around anymore doesn’t mean you have go without strong female characters in a comic strip.  You know what comic prominently features no less than THREE female characters?  Welcome to Falling Rock National Park!  Dee, the junior Park Ranger from Tucson, Arizona is sometimes described* as the “heart” of the strip.  She loves her job.

Not only is she adept and intelligent, she’s pretty good-looking.

Ranger Dee is, however, far from the only female in this desert park.  She is pictured above sitting next to Melissa the mountain lion.  Melissa, being a cat, is ferocious, but she also makes beautiful large-scale sculptures.

Of course I would be remiss if I neglected to mention Pam, the retired schoolteacher javelina.  Pam is the Perpetual Babe of the Month here at Falling Rock National Blog.  It’s easy to see why:

Newspaper editors: when it comes time to fill the Cathy void this October, think Ranger Dee!

Readers: wouldn’t you rather see Falling Rock in your local paper than some machine-made corporate Brand X comic strip?  Write your paper and tell them that Falling Rock National Park is what you want.

*beginning now

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Babe of the Month: August 2013

babe-of-the-month-AUG2013

It’s been far too long since I’ve announced the Falling Rock Babe of the Month. As longtime readers are aware, the perpetual Babe of the Month here at Falling Rock is Pam the javelina. She is a chain-smoking retired middle school teacher. I should have put text before the picture; most of you probably never even got around to reading this. You’re all slobbering over Pam’s attractive physique. Well, go ahead. You’ve only got one more week until I announce September’s Babe of the Month. (Hint: it’s gonna be Pam.)


Babe of the Month

Longtime readers of this here blog know that our Perpetual Babe of the Month is Pam, the chain-smoking javelina. She epitomizes all the qualities of a Babe of the Month. Her coarse, brown fur, her narrowed eyes, her standoffish personality. I can’t think of a more bodacious babe.

Oscar Woodruff
, an incredibly talented illustrator, has submitted a truly excellent piece of fan art. Like many a man, Pam takes his breath away. I can’t say I blame him. Behold, the product of his devotion:
PAM
Hubba hubba! Amirite, guys?


Babe of the Month

It is time once again to name Falling Rock’s Babe of the Month. This month’s winner should come as no surprise, as she is the perpetual Babe of the Month. That’s right! Pam the javelina has stolen the crown from herself yet again. Congratulations Pam. You embody all the qualities of babeitude, always and forever. You might want to get that cough checked out, though.
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