*Don’t take that couch!
For the past few weekends I’ve been delivering packages for Amazon. It’s been an interesting experience, and one of the perks is I get to spot a lot more discarded couches! Here is the first dispatch from the field. These couches come from literally all over the city.
It finally happened! I personally witnessed a couch in the process of being discarded. After years of seeing all types of couches left on the street, I got to see what happens from front door to sidewalk. Let me tell you, it was worth the wait. Like a field biologist who finally witnesses the mating ritual of an endangered mole, I was rapt.
A young man “walked” this red couch out his door and pushed it gingerly down the front steps. Then he began tipping it end over end until he reached the end of his driveway. Finally, he maneuvered the couch right side up and pushed it, scraping over asphalt, into the position you see below. Content with his work, he returned to his (presumably couchless) house.
I feel like I’ve attained an elevated status of discarded couch spotting. No longer do I only have to rely on my imagination; I have witnessed the event firsthand. I am a scientist with hard data. Far from being over, I feel my days of discarded couch finding have only begun.