Posts Tagged ‘dick cheney’


The Batman

chicago-bridges A dark city cries for help.

Gotham needs Batman.
obama+in+chicago
Long before there was a Batman to protect us, a band of terrorist criminals kept the fair city of Gotham under a near-constant state of panic.These criminals include:
The Joker George W. Bush
One-Facecheney
The Riddlerrumsfeld
…and their hired thugs.

This band of terrorist criminals ravaged Gotham until there was nothing left to burn, blow up, or steal. Many wondered: can Gotham rise like a mighty Phoenix to become great again? Some of us threatened to “move to Metropolis,” where at least the sun comes out sometimes and the newspaper is better.

Alas, most do not have the luxury of pulling up their roots and restarting in a new city. Other citizens claimed that we would live to see Gotham as the urban utopia it once was. But how?chicago-hyde-parkEnter: The Dark Knight.

Batman seemed to rise from the darkness itself, striking back at those who had tarnished our once-beautiful Gotham. He is now doing what Gotham’s corrupt police and crooked politicians never dared try. He fights the good fight. He bleeds for our sins. Though many of us will never see the Batman in person, we must rally around his symbol of hope.

Fly, Batman, fly. Into the light of the dark black night.

This post sponsored by OBAMA/CARTER ’08


Falling Rock Committee on Un-American Activities REVISED

A certain nobody went on some lousy talk show and accused Barack Obama of being anti-American. This is only the latest lie cast upon our friend Barack by the Republicans. However, a more thorough investigation by our own Falling Rock News Team (FRNT) yielded a host of people who have anti-American sentiments. The surprising results follow, listed in order of (1) least hating America to (5) most hating America.

Art Garfunkel. His famous voice sounded the high notes on such chart-toppers as “Bridge over Troubled Water” and “The Sound of Silence.” Alas, when asked what he thought of the state of America’s music scene today, he only shrugged and said “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio and Simon & Garfunkel?”

George Clooney. Handsome devil indeed. But the man who once visited the United Nations couldn’t be bothered to make pro-America movies. Instead, he resorted to making liberal propaganda.

The Grinch. This rotten, nasty imp will steal the whizz-wippers and hoo-hoffers from right under your nose! Look out, kids!

The New York Yankees. I, along with fellow bloggers Stabbone and McGraw, continue our quest to rid the country – nay, the world! – of these nasty, lying pond scum that sully the name of Major League Baseball.

Dick Cheney. But we all knew he hated America, didn’t we?

The FRNT will stop at nothing to deliver you the whole truth, not some half-baked version of it. We strive to keep America beautiful, and if that means keeping a list of people who are anti-American and waving it around for all to see, well then so be it.

Falling Rock, just like Barack Obama, is staunchly pro-fall foliage and pro-Truth, Justice, and the American Way.


organ donor*

I am proud to be listed as an organ donor.  If, heaven forbid, a pack of wild rhinoceros tramples me to death but leaves a viable kidney or liver, I hope that part of me can be placed inside another human being so that they can live a better life.

I was horrified to learn that the current human manifestation of Satan, Dick Cheney, received a heart transplant today.  There was a decent, caring human being who died today, and that person’s heart is now beating for the man who is responsible for more civilian death than the terrorists who flew planes into the World Trade Center.  This is an atrocity.

This is a list of the people to whom my organs are not allowed to be donated under any circumstances.  I just hope the paramedics who retrieve my lifeless corpse read this blog before they stick my heart in a cooler packed with dry ice.

Dick Cheney
Fred Phelps
Pat Robertson
George HW Bush
George W Bush
Donald Rumsfeld
Henry Kissinger
Michael Bay

There are bad people in other countries who I won’t allow my organs to go to either, but the chances of certain Presidents of Iran wanting an American heart beating beneath their rib cages is probably slim.

If technology eventually allows Richard Nixon’s cryogenically frozen body to be reanimated and they need an organ or two to complete the puzzle, I will allow my organs to go to him.