falling rock: the movie

What cartoonist hasn’t thought about who should play their characters on the big screen?  Movies, or films, or “moving filmed pictures,” have long held a fascination with me.  Sigmund Freud said that movies fulfill our subconscious desire to sleep with Thomas Edison.  Whether that is true or not, I remain an avid movie-watcher.

So who should play each character in the inevitable Welcome to Falling Rock National Park movie?  Here are my suggestions.

Ranger DeeZooey Deschanel

Zooey-Deschanel-park-ranger Zooey_Deschanel_park-ranger-2Everybody’s favorite park ranger is sometimes called* the heart of the comic.  Who better to play the emotional center of Falling Rock: The Movie than the girl who stole M. Ward’s heart?

Carver – Jason Schwartzman

jason_schwartzmanCarver the cranky owl needs a wry voice tinged with world-weariness.  Rushmore introduced us to a young Jason Schwartzman as a world-weary high school student.  Fantastic Mr. Fox proved he has the chops for voice work, and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World proved he can play a great antagonist.

ErnestoTony Hale

tony-haleWho better to play the lovable clothes-wearing lizard than the actor who partly inspired him?  Tony Hale is better known to the world as Buster Bluth on the short-lived TV show Arrested Development.  I’m not actually sure why that show got canceled because everyone I know has seen it.  Timid, somewhat stunted, yet with the potential for catastrophe, Buster Bluth could easily pass as Ernesto’s human cousin.

Pam –who else? – Lauren Bacall

lauren_bacallPam, the chain-smoking retired schoolteacher, can’t be played by just any dame.  Pam needs to be played by a wiseacre, a mystery, a worldly woman.  I can’t think of anyone better than the living embodiment of noir: Ms. Bacall.

MelissaAni DiFranco

Ani DiFranco

Melissa the mountain lion was a difficult character to cast.  At first I thought Nicole Kidman.  Then my thoughts turned to singers.  Norah Jones?  Cat Power?  I heard Ani DiFranco interviewed on the Sound Opinions podcast and realized her voice would be perfect for the mellow but fierce cat.

Featuring a theme song written and performed by Bob Dylan, Jack Johnson, and Jeff Tweedy (under the name Wilbury & Sons), Falling Rock: The Movie will surely rake in Tom-Cruise-in-the-early-90’s money.  Oh, and it will definitely be in 3D.

*only by me