autobiography Blog

one more reason to hate meth heads

It used to be cold medicine worked. Sudafed, or any medicine containing pseudoephedrine, is like a fist to your nasal passage. It knocks the cold right out of your head. As a bonus, it leaves you with that floaty, disembodied feeling for most of the day.

Well, a few years ago meth heads discovered that they could mix pseudoephedrine (taken from over-the-counter medications) with various other ingredients (frog wort, root of Hoary Tree, salamander mucous) and make their precious, precious meth.

So what does our government, in its glorious wisdom, decide to do? Take pseudoephedrine away from EVERYBODY. That’s like making everyone take off their shoes at the airport because one nutcase tried to hide a bomb in his loafers.

Since pseudoephedrine was banned, Sudafed, Tylenol, and other cold medicines began using a substitute ingredient. This ingredient sucks. It doesn’t work. I want my pseudoephedrine back. I am a law-abiding citizen with a cold, and I demand relief.

Maybe they could put Sudafed in packages designed so that someone on meth would not be able to figure out how to open them. Maybe we could use a code word that meth users are not privy to. “I’d like some of that Toasted Oat Cereal,” I would say to the pharmacist, and he would wink knowingly and hand me cold medicine that actually relieves the symptoms of a cold.

Excuse me, but my nose is running again and I have to go.

5 replies on “one more reason to hate meth heads”

Is there some herb that will grow the cold germs to human size? Then I can just punch them in the face and be done with it.


Take two shots and call me in the morning.


If you don’t mind a random comment from an internet passer-by – assuming you live in the US, you should still be able to get pseudoephedrine. You just have to go to the pharmacist’s counter and request a cold medicine with it, at which point they will make you show an ID and sign for it. But it is available.

Thanks for commenting, anon. I think that’s true for most states, but in Oregon you need a doctor’s prescription to get pseudoephedrine. I know people who make the trip to Washington just for their cold medicine.

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