My friend Ian got me a wonderful book full of rejected cartoons from the New Yorker. These are cartoons, from the New Yorker‘s usual stable of cartoonists, that for one reason or another failed to make the cut. They are still very funny; in some cases, they’re funnier than what actually made it into the magazine. At the beginning of each cartoonist’s section, there is a two-page spread of questions and answers. I thought, being a cartoonist who gets rejected, why not fill their questions out myself? Below are my answers. New Yorker, take note.