I Give Away Endings to Movies That Have Not Yet Been Made

He is devoured by his pet snake.

It’s a musical: there is a big closing number, fireworks color the sky, The End.

She’s actually a human being, not a robot.

Nothing interesting happens, then there are a series of explosions and a car chase.

The cause of death was ruled accidental, even though we know it was her best friend who did it.

Monkeys.

It’s a period piece, so it doesn’t have a trick ending.

A 150 year-old Atticus Finch saunters into the courtroom, gives the best defense speech in history, the jury rules ‘Not Guilty.’

He realizes his brother and his father are the same person.

He rushes to the airport and catches her just before she gets on the plane, proposes to her, she accepts, they marry, have three children, grow old together, pay their taxes, retire to Sun City, play golf, die.

The third man is Orson Welles. [oops, that one has been made already.]

Rosebud is a sled. [again, made.]

A cameo by Homer Simpson.

Everybody dies, then a comet hits the Earth, causing untold environmental damage. Cockroaches and turtles survive.

Subterfuge.

Sabotage.

It totally rips off the ending from Star Wars.

They fix it so the Mississippi river runs backwards, therefore reversing all the damage.

Bob Dylan shows up just in time for a little song.
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