autobiography Blog

Honey, I’m Home

I’m sure many of you have noticed my absence over the long Memorial Day weekend. Adrianne and I attended my brother’s wedding in Colorado. I will post a few photos (with names changed to protect the innocent) in a day or so.

I also plan on posting the Official Falling Rock Committee Proposal on Bettering Or Perhaps Eliminating Our Nation’s Airlines this week. Rest assured, dear readers, that it will be a comprehensive report. All airlines best heed the results. Should they defy me, I will be working on a device that can replace the airplane as a more cost-efficient, less polluting travel alternative. I’m not entirely sure what to call it, but it runs on “tracks” laid in the ground and makes a “choo-choo” sound. The Golden Age of Travel is right around the corner.

So I get to my desk this morning and found, waiting for me, a packet from the Portland Office of Transportation. Last week I requested some information on bike and walking trails in town. They sent those to me and included some special prizes. I got an “I share the road” bumper sticker and a bar of chocolate. That’s right! “Smooth Organic Dark Chocolate,” made by Endangered Species Chocolate. Just for requesting biking information. They’re obviously worried that my bike rides will dangerously deplete my body’s sugar levels.

I love this town.

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