I understand you’re playing a gig in Chicago tonight. That’s great! My friend Nate will be there to see you. I know this sounds like a cliche, but he’s your biggest fan. Seriously.
I’m writing to ask you please not to run off with Nate after your show. I know he’s good looking and he’s totally into you, but you have to restrain yourself. Nate already has a super awesome wife and I really don’t want to see her go.
Feel free to pick some other married guy from the crowd. Maybe there are men who don’t have awesome wives, or maybe their wives are already thinking about leaving them and so wouldn’t mind if they ran off with Cat Power. Just don’t pick Nate.
Thank you, and have a fantastic show.