According to this article, a lock of John Lennon’s hair was recently sold at auction for $48,000. As you can see in the picture, the hair is affixed to the inside of John’s second book, A Spaniard in the Works.
(A side note: you should read both of John’s books, as they show off his love of language and a flair for drawing silly-looking people.)
Getting to the point, this lock of hair means so much more than a useless and a little creepy bit of Beatles ephemera. It means that we now have all we need to clone John Lennon. According to the documentary Jurassic Park, all that is needed to clone a living being is a bit of their “dino DNA”, a scientific term which fails to come up when I search for it on Wikipedia.
What better time to bring back Lennon? We have a horrible ongoing war, the music business is in a slump, and Paul McCartney has failed to put together a great album since 1973 (although I’ll give him credit for Flaming Pie). We need John Lennon now.
I am hereby calling on all scientists wasting their time on stem cell research to mobilize and await my order. I will deliver that lock of hair for you to work your magic upon. You must not rest until we have a living, breathing clone of Lennon walking the streets of New York once again. It is a foolproof plan; nothing can go wrong.