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autobiography Blog

a young man’s game

I was in college when I first realized it: I would never pitch in the World Series. Never, never ever. At 20, I was far too old to begin practicing and reach the level required for the Majors. If I began practicing at 20, you see, it would take decades to reach the 10,000 hours required to master the art of baseball. And at 40, I would be too old to be a rookie.

With each passing year, I became aware of more and more occupations forever lost to me. “It’s a young man’s game,” the saying goes, but has anyone sat down to make a list of all the careers that are the provenance of the young?

Now I have. Without further ado, here are the young man/young woman’s games.

baseball
football
American football
soccer
British Ultimate Frisbee
cartooning
syndicated humor columnist
Fox News correspondent
owner of a secondhand bookstore in Paris
fashion photographer
socialite
fussbudget
factory slave
orphan
McDonald’s store manager
Nihilist
math teacher
English teacher
history teacher
science teacher
PE teacher
accountant
actuary
gravedigger
obituary writer
CFO for KFC
sous chef
wine taster
King’s poison tester
Wal-Mart greeter
paperboy
trash collector
trash can designer
typographer
Rabbi
professional video game tester
dreamer
hustler
beggar
drifter
hacker
slacker
scoundrel
scalawag
boogeyman
blogger

3 replies on “a young man’s game”

I have to follow this up with all the awesome stuff only old people can do. Like make Time Out Of Mind, for instance.

I'd add to this list:
-Pascalenas McDonalds dry-waller
-Jessica Biel lover

Sadly, I'm probably not quite old enough to be a true R.E.M. groupie though. Nobody wants me, I guess.

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