I wasn’t able to complete that time machine in 2009, so I guess I’ll have to find out what happens in 2010 in real time.
Dear readers, you are aware of the ongoing tragedy that is my kitchen sink. It is a place where mugs go to die. The sad broken drinkwear are discarded but never forgotten. Well, the good people at www.cookware.com heard my cry and allowed me to try something different on this bolg. They sell all manner of fine kitchen goods and they have generously offered to supply me with new mugs in exchange for a review.
As an avid tea-guzzler, I will be able to quickly determine whether these mugs are up to the task. I look forward to the trial. As should you! For you will be able to read all about it right here.
But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. You see, Rashida, I am a cartoonist. I happen to draw a daily comic strip which has three strong female characters. Ranger Dee is about the same age as your protagonist. Although she is merely a Park Ranger, not a CIA spy, she still has plenty of style.
Were you too shy to ask me to draw your comic book, Rashida? That nervousness is completely understandable. Cartoonists are perceived by the public as stand-offish, off-putting, gruff, bed-wetting party-poopers. But none of that is true. We get a bad rap from the liberal media. Not all of us live in cardboard boxes under the freeway. We bathe regularly, clip our fingernails, are good at making eye contact. Some of us even get married!
In fact, I would have been honored to draw your comic book. Maybe, since it looks like you’ve got this project covered already, I could get on your “short list” for the next opus. Don’t worry about setting or characters or even story; I’d be happy to “brainstorm” with you. We could work it all out at one of Portland’s many late-night coffee joints.
Think it over; take your time. You can’t rush art, after all! In this crazy mixed-up world, sometimes comics are the only thing that makes sense.
I only wish “beat” meant pistol-whipping them.
Almost as good: our Benevolent President, in his Infinite Wisdom, has ordered airlines to allow passengers to disembark from planes that have been stuck on the tarmac for more than three hours.
This is taken from the above-linked article, but I think it bears repeating here:
“Airline passengers have rights, and these new rules will require airlines to live up to their obligation to treat their customers fairly,” Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said in a statement.
In terms of the airlines, I’m all for more regulation. Regulate them to within an inch of their lives. Why? Because that’s exactly what they do to us, from the moment we step inside an airport until our bedraggled living corpse is carried by our family out the other end. I have luckily never lived in a totalitarian state, but I imagine that is what America would look like if it were run by the airlines.
The heads of the airlines should have been made to accept this new regulation on bent knee. They should have been forced to thank the President for forcing them to treat their paying customers decently.
I recently saw Ray LaHood on The Daily Show, and he mentioned the promise of high-speed rail. If this does indeed come to fruition, and I hope that it does, a byproduct may be that airlines see that comfort in long-distance travel is possible.
America is supposedly a capitalist society. Why, then, does it require our government to step in to correct huge, long-term mistakes made by gigantic corporations? From the banks on Wall Street to the Big 3 auto makers to the airlines, when a corporation gets big enough it stops listening to the market because it believes it cannot possibly fail. I think the Greeks had a word for that. The market supposedly makes the best possible choices, but with big business there is no alternative to the one crappy choice we have.
The other night I broke another mug while washing the dishes. I only seem to break the mugs I like. It may seem like a minor tragedy, but I’m sick of its recurring nature. How much longer until I only have terrible, misshapen mugs? What will my morning routine look like when I open the cupboard only to see mugs staring balefully out at me, hoping I won’t use them for fear of being “washed” into the garbage can? I feel like an incompetent mafia hit man. I only hit the wrong targets.
What angers me most about this situation is the fact that a solution already exists. It’s called a dishwasher. Dishwashers are sanitary, automatic and I happen to enjoy the sound they make while they’re cleaning my dirty dishes. It’s a win-win. But as I am merely a cartoonist/blogger (euphemisms for poor/wretched), I have no such electric device in my kitchen. I only have a big sink and a faucet that throws as much water on me as it does the dishes I’m cleaning.
I mourn the passage of a good mug today. The fact that, somewhere out there, a dishwasher would have had room for it makes the grief even harder to bear.
Rest in peace, tall mug. You will be missed.
Listening to the new album by Dead Weather, I noticed they included a (pretty sweet) cover of Bob Dylan’s New Pony, from the Street Legal album.
Doing a little research (yeah, I Googled it), I discovered this little gem of a video that features Jack White accompanying Bob on the tune One More Cup of Coffee. I also found out Bob has a Hank Williams project (a la Mermaid Avenue) in the pipeline and Jack is one of the performers on that.
My theory? I bet Bob’s acoustic guitar is buried in the mix of New Pony. There is absolutely nothing in the liner notes or online that I could find to substantiate that. I just got this feeling, you know?