Archive for October 22nd, 2008



Falling Rock Committee on Un-American Activities REVISED

A certain nobody went on some lousy talk show and accused Barack Obama of being anti-American. This is only the latest lie cast upon our friend Barack by the Republicans. However, a more thorough investigation by our own Falling Rock News Team (FRNT) yielded a host of people who have anti-American sentiments. The surprising results follow, listed in order of (1) least hating America to (5) most hating America.

Art Garfunkel. His famous voice sounded the high notes on such chart-toppers as “Bridge over Troubled Water” and “The Sound of Silence.” Alas, when asked what he thought of the state of America’s music scene today, he only shrugged and said “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio and Simon & Garfunkel?”

George Clooney. Handsome devil indeed. But the man who once visited the United Nations couldn’t be bothered to make pro-America movies. Instead, he resorted to making liberal propaganda.

The Grinch. This rotten, nasty imp will steal the whizz-wippers and hoo-hoffers from right under your nose! Look out, kids!

The New York Yankees. I, along with fellow bloggers Stabbone and McGraw, continue our quest to rid the country – nay, the world! – of these nasty, lying pond scum that sully the name of Major League Baseball.

Dick Cheney. But we all knew he hated America, didn’t we?

The FRNT will stop at nothing to deliver you the whole truth, not some half-baked version of it. We strive to keep America beautiful, and if that means keeping a list of people who are anti-American and waving it around for all to see, well then so be it.

Falling Rock, just like Barack Obama, is staunchly pro-fall foliage and pro-Truth, Justice, and the American Way.