Archive for April, 2008

10 years

I’ve often thought that Linda McCartney had a good impact on Paul. They were a team; it is an image I have of what marriage ought to be. I read an interview of the two of them from the early 80’s. At one point Paul leaves the room. Linda then talks about Paul’s relationship with John in much more detail than I’ve heard Paul himself say. It wasn’t anything revelatory, but it felt so real.
lynda mccartney1
Linda died in Tucson, the same year I was a senior in high school. I remember seeing on TV the news trucks parked outside the McCartney home for days. That was the news: the news trucks sitting there on the side of the road. I wished they would have left the family alone.

Today Paul writes about Linda on the tenth anniversary of her death. She was a great lady. She is missed.linda mccartney

The Boogeyman Who Founded Oregon

Did you know that the man named “Father of Oregon” was actually the Boogeyman? It’s true!

Dr. John McLoughlin (pictured above) is known as “Father of Oregon.” He was also a Boogeyman. In addition to his service to this state and to the United States of America, he crept into people’s houses at night and ate their children.

Dr. John McLoughlin, born in Riviere du Loup, St. Lawrence, Canada, worked for the Hudson Bay Company. In 1824 he and his lovely, unknowing wife moved with to Oregon to ostensibly “start afresh.” Like so many creepy supernatural figures, McLoughlin figured that if he headed into the relatively unsettled West, he would find rest from those who would destroy him. Once in Oregon, he became a central figure. He is especially known for his efforts in overseeing the migration of people from the East Coast to Oregon, for making the town site for Oregon City (just down the river from Portland), opening the first lumber mill in the Pacific Northwest, and for outliving two of his four children. He died in 1857, grizzled and worn. His house remains a tourist hotspot in Oregon City.

The lesser-known story on McLoughlin is his life as a Boogeyman. A Boogeyman, or “Bogeyman,” awakes at night and eats children. He often crouched in closets, flattened himself under beds, or hid with ghoulish glee right behind an open door. His eyes glittered with animal lust, his long teeth bared in the pale moonlight. He wore a mask of civility during the day, but at night he feasted. Boogeymen are depicted on TV and in movies as fanciful creatures that look very little like humans. This is supposed to set them apart from civilized creatures. But real-life Boogeymen look just like you and I. Well, almost.

How do I know McLaughlin was a Boogeyman? Look closely at this picture of the fiend. The prominent forehead, the shocked white hair. The excessively bushy muttonchops. In this photo he wears a black cloak of some kind. He looks both nervous and angry; this makes sense, as he was probably not thrilled at being photographed in his beastly state.

It is often the case that Men of State are thinly veiled monsters. They use their animalistic powers to climb the political ladder, then abuse the peoples’ trust by devouring their children at night. Most of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were devil-beings of some sort. Thomas Jefferson was a vampire. Ben Franklin, a mummy. Even George Washington himself was nothing more than a clawed Zombie King.

Oddly, Richard Nixon is one of the only Presidents who was not a Beast from Below. Researchers have found him to be thoroughly human.

Dr. John McLoughlin’s shadow covers the state of Oregon. We must protect ourselves from his lingering evil. But we must also acknowledge the good he did for our great state.

Alternate Names for the Boogeyman

Courtesy the book Giants, Monsters, and Dragons by Carol Rose, p. 271:
“Agrippa, Auld Scratty, Black Annis, Black Sow, Bodach, Booger Man, Bogyman, Bogie, Bombomachides, Boo-bagger, Brandamour, Brobinyak, Bucca Dhu, Bug, Bug-a-Boo, Bugbear, Cankobobus, Child Guzzler, Cutty Dyer, Father Flog and Madam Flog, Hobyah, Jack up the Orchut, Jenny of Biggersdale, Lammikin, Morgan, Mumpoker, Old Bloody Bones, Owner-of-a-Bag, Raw Head and Bloody Bones, Red-legged Scissor-man, Sandman, the Spoorn, Tanterabogus, Tod Lowrey, Tom Dockin, Tom Poker, Woglog.”

While most permutations of the Boogeyman feast only on children, I’m sure a hard-pressed Boogeyman would delight in eating almost anyone. Beware the creaking door! Beware the figure in shadows at your bus stop! Beware the Father of Oregon!

This public service announcement brought to you by The Falling Rock Committee For Protection Against Boogeymen.

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Friday Robot: Behind the Scenes

A particularly ugly Friday Robot lets me know about it.friday-robot-apologize

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A Remembrance of Friday Robots Past

A collage of sorts, using Friday Robots from the recent past.

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